So today I decided to reread a book, Steve Harvey’s Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man . And I had forgotten how good of a read this was. Now I literally just started reading it again so I’m at chapter 2. But after ready chapter 1, I thought about somethings. He explains that a man need three things in he’s life to be successful; who he is, what he does, and how much he makes. He won’t even began to think of marriage until those three things are completed. And even though we are with this man, supporting he through he failure, and trial and error. It will still not be enough until he need to be were he’s at. But then here the dilemma there is this stigma that men need “ride or die” woman. The ones that are there through it all because it show’s their loyalty. But why?
From as long as I can remember we (Women) are supposed to be the man’s back bone. Through his struggle were supposed to be there. But what if I don’t want to be apart of his struggle? Now I’m not saying don’t have your man’s back when he’s down, because he can always get right back up. But what I am saying is that it shouldn’t be my obligation to take care of him. Picture it like this; I’m have a full time job, I go to school, take care of my kids, and have one blog, a YouTube channel, and I’m a makeup artist. Now let call this man John. John has no job, has no intent on going to school, a large debt to income ratio, stays with he’s mother, and no car. I’m supposed to support John through this??? uhhhhhhh NO! *in my Michael Kyle voice* Why in the world am I supposed to settle for less when I have so much more to offer?
Now this doesn’t mean I’m that stuck up type, that I needs a man with a six figure job, a whole bunch of cars, multiple big beautiful house, and a credit score of 850 or better. But I want you to at least have some of the same things that I have. Now lets call this other guy Richard. Richard still lives with he’s mother, but he almost done with school, has a job in he’s career field, credit score is 800, has he’s own car, and a side hustle too. Now I can deal with that because unlike John, Richard has something to offer besides dick! Richard has stability.
Steve Harvey put in he’s book that men don’t love like woman do. But I guess I partly disagree, because we all crave the same things from our partner. But when it comes to the being successful, we should be motivating each other, where in the book it say that a man needs to go do this on his own. And in some sense I get that but if you have nobody to give you a high five or pat on the back when you’ve accomplished something, how do expect for some to catch you when you fall? They go hand in hand. I just always felt like, if we’re at the bottom together then we can get to the top together, but if I’m half way there by myself and your still at the bottom, then it isn’t going to work if you’re not willing to come up with me.
The best way to explain it is from Snoop Dogg. lol I know! But it applies to both friendships and relationship. “This is the gap when we started. This is the gap as you grow. Notice how you grow and they don’t. So, how do you close the gap? You gotta come back down. When you come back down you lose. So, you gotta keep going up. That’s why closing the gap gotta be them catching up to you. And if they don’t catch up you gotta leave ‘em behind.” You can click on the like to watch the full conversation between Snoop Dogg and A$AP Rocky (AKA Bae). I feel this quote is the most relevant to the situation. Why must I come down? So you can feel better about yourself? But then I’m not winning, I’m not going anywhere. And that’s not fair to me. So my question for you is Are you his rock or his mother?