Side Chick Music

Soo lets talk real quick. It was brought to my attention that SZA is supposedly “side chick music.”  Now if you really listen to SZA you would know what she is all about. But most people refer to her based off of her song “The Weekend” Where she says

“You say you got a girl
How you want me?
How you want me when you got a girl”

“My man is my man is your man
Heard that’s her man
Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
I just keep him satisfied through the weekend”

And yeah on the outside looking in it sound exactly like that. But take it from this stand point. What if you were dealing with a man who is supposedly in love with two or more woman? each woman knows about each other and are okay with what is going on with him. Does that make her a side chick? who is really the main chick? But really is it just her saying shit he is for everybody!?

SZA isn’t this “Hey everybody lets just play these nigga how the play us!” She is about empowerment. Her songs are about the things she has and is going through. I bring this topic up because of her new music video Supermodel. The video begin with her doing what all woman do looking in the mirror pick at ourselves, with her “man” in the back laugh at her. These kids come and make her feel beautiful. As she is walking the road in a forest she is straight WORKING and SLAYING!!!! But while walking she see’s her man laughing at her again.

“I could be your supermodel
If you believe
If you see it in me
See it in me
See it in me

I don’t see myself
Why I can’t stay alone just by myself
Wish I was comfortable just with myself
But I need you”

That is the words of a woman that constantly fight with her self esteem something we all have trouble with. Its the same with the song Drew Barrymore

“I get so lonely, I forget what I’m worth
We get so lonely, we pretend that this works
I’m so ashamed of myself think I need therapy-y-y-y
I’m sorry I’m not more attractive
I’m sorry I’m not more ladylike
I’m sorry I don’t shave my legs at night
I’m sorry I’m not your baby mama
I’m sorry you got karma comin’ to you
Collect and soak in it right”

Here’s something from Broken Clocks

“All I got is these broken clocks
I ain’t got no time
Just burning daylight
Still up still up
Its still love its
Still love still love still loving still love
Nothing but love for you
Nothing but love
Nothing but love”

In the end of all of this SZA is a real one. She sings about being in these crazy stages of our lives in these crazy ass 20’s. Where you would think we would be past self esteem issues, bad relationships, and toxic love. But it life and we gotta keep pushing through. But next time you listen to supposedly “side chick music” listen to the story and not just the chicks who live their lives off of being a side chick. And just saying Shirley Murdock – As We Lay is side chick music lol but its still my jam! Tell me what you think about SZA -CTRL!

peace, love, and positivity

What I love and Why I love it

So I’m going to give you a quick story on why I love to do makeup and how I began this journey with it.

When I was about 15, I would say that was when I first notice that I was interested in makeup. I loved the colors of the eye shadows my mother had, How the black eyeliner would make my eyes pop. (I have light brown eyes.) It just use to be simply things like a little eyeliner here and there. Now of course I wasn’t the greatest at applying it but it was a start.

 

 

 

 

Now my senior prom is when I really got into makeup, I went to MAC to get it done as usually but this time the girl used so many colors and products I was so interested. asking question; What is this for? How do you use this?

 

 

 

Now I go off to college and start experimenting. But still not knowing nothing about contouring and highlighting or the importance of EYEBROWS!! But at least my base was even. lol

 

 

 

I leave college and just kind of do my own thing for awhile got to a relationship and really rarely wore makeup but here are a few pictures. Mind you still a working progress.

And then in 2014 I had my sons, I became a stay at home mom. I didn’t really do too much at home beside take care of my son’s and go to school. So  I watched YouTube makeup tutorials all day. How to contour and highlight, how to correctly do you eyebrow. HIGHLIGHTERS!!!! Eyeliner, Eye shadow blending. I had found my life goal. Once I started practicing, people would compliment me on my makeup all the time. How do I do this or that? Who does my makeup? Will I do their’s? I had truly found what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Now I have never loved doing anything as much as I love doing my makeup and others too. It is my everything. I wonder for years what I wanted to do with my life. I have changed my major so many times from psychology, to early education, to IT, to now finally Business. I want to build myself a brand and create something I can give to my children when they come of age. I learned that within the last year that if you don’t follow your dreams and goals that what are you really doing?

 

Live Healthy ❤

 

 

Why you bother me when you know you don’t want me?

Photo credit : Rolling Stone

So lately I have been listening to a lot of SZA – CTRL, and if you haven’t. YOU SHOULD! It has me thinking, why do men bother you when we both know they don’t want you. A lot of the time my mom will say because they don’t want no one else to have you. They would rather make your life miserable, then to see you happy with someone else. Its a bit selfish. But then that brought me to do woman do it as well? Now I can only speak for myself. The only thing I ever wanted to see from any of my ex’s was that the excelled or advanced. In every relationship you are in, you are supposed to take something from that relationship whether its good or bad its supposed to be something to make you a better person. Most don’t but I try to. My longest relationship I was in, he would always tell me how I lack the ability to be honest. And for awhile of our relationship he was right. But then I decide I wasn’t going to keep the truth to myself, whatever needed to be said would be said. And if you don’t like what I say so be it, at least it has been said. It’s all about growth.

Now this brings me to my next talking point, its strange that all 20’s years go through this stage were we are trying figure why we don’t have a beautiful relationship like others, especially if we have all the tools to be in. My mother sent me a video that explained why most of us are still single or why we haven’t found the “one” John Gray // He Who Finds A Wife // 2016. You can click the link to hear his speech. But basically he saying that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” which by the way is one of my favorite bible scriptures. But I guess my favorite thing about the whole video was that you are not a wife when he puts a ring on you. You have become his wife. But you were a wife before he found you. You have carry yourself as a wife, to be treated like a wife. But when you walk in the spirit of a girlfriend you will forever be a girlfriend. You have to act taken to be found. You have to have the characteristic of a wife to be chosen to be someone wife. So it had me thinking am I carrying myself as a girlfriend? It also had me thinking of the many people I know that have been in long term relationship 5+ years and yet they are not married. So does that mean they are only seen as girlfriends. Because most will say they cannot afford a ring or a wedding right now. But the ring does not symbolize your marriage, you two do. And hell you can always get tattoos on  your ring finger. You can always get married in the court house and have a small dinner with your close family. So once again why aren’t you married?

The real reason for it all is that we aren’t supposed to be out looking for love, we are supposed to be out looking for ourselves. Love comes to those who love themselves. Have you ever noticed that when you are focusing on yourself and expanding your life, you start to draw attention to yourself from the opposite or same sex? Now someone in that crowd means well for you but the other’s mean to destroy you. And its hard to filter it out. But with time things do change. But as long as you focus on creating and evolving yourself all the great things will fall into place.

check out my previous blogs 25 and still fucking single… and The Typical Life of a Baby Momma

And please watch out for my first video on YouTube about my life as a Typical Baby Momma. I will be posting my first video next week.

 

Live Healthy ❤

recognize.

 

A lot of times people think that their accomplishments have to go recognize. But they really don’t. I always tell people that the things I do and the reason I work so hard for the things I want in life is because I do it for myself, not for my kids, not for my family, not for my friends. I do what I want or need to give me the sense of accomplishment. I don’t do it so someone can give me a pat on the back. So just because you don’t see me moving doesn’t mean things aren’t in motion.

Double Standards

Now I personally don’t believe in double standard when it comes to a relationship, business or really in any aspect of life. Only because I feel that if you don’t want me to do it, then you shouldn’t either. Now there are my many types of double standard as in : in a relationship, in society, in the workplace. So I’m going to go through a few that bother me as well as some suggestion that were on my Facebook account (which is over on the left side with all my social media)

The definition of double standards states, a situation in which two people, groups, etc., are treated very differently from each other in a way that is unfair to one of them.

Source: Merriam-Webster’s Learner’s Dictionary

Here’s a few  questions off my Facebook account

“I love topics like this ! The one I hate the MOST is its okay for a guy to TALK to multiple females even if you guys just started talking but dead ass wrong for a female to”  – Stephanie C.

Now I hate this as much as the next woman. For some reason society has labeled it okay for men to be able to talk and have sex with as many woman as he want to, and he can’t be labeled being promiscuous. But for a woman it is unheard of. Some people I have had this conversation with, say its because were put on a pedestal. That we are better than men so we shouldn’t commit these type of actions. But in reality, we’re human and we enjoy conversation with others and we want to feel needed and wanted whether its with our partner or while we search for our soulmate.

“Why is that double standards only applies to certain topics and not everything in a relationship? ” – Ashlee B

I have asked this question MANY times, but no one can ever give me a straight answer, most men reply with there are things men can do that woman as just not allowed to do. Some say the bible defines it but when I asked where no one can give an location.  Personally  I think it’s just a system that allow men as well as woman to do things that are not permitted in relationship but by using some type of excuse or reason they can say, giving them validation. When in all it should simply be don’t it to me and i won’t do it to you.

And to let everyone I’m doing double standard that apply to men and woman.

1. Men should always pay for dates – Now I do believe if you ask me out then yes you should pay. ONLY BECAUSE YOU ASKED ME. So if you ask me out and lets say we go out to eat. And at the restaurant you look at me like I’m supposed to pick up the bill I will pay for myself and leave, because I didn’t asked to be here or for you to feed me and expect something in return for it. But now in my relationship, majority or the time we split everything. If we go to the movies, I’ll buy the tickets, he’ll pays for the popcorn.
2. Man without any children NORMAL, Woman without children “Whats wrong with her?” – Now as we all know having children is a big responsibility. This is someone life you have to protect and help grow. But for some reason for man to say he doesn’t want any kids or by a certain doesn’t have any it completely normal, but if a woman past 30 doesn’t have or want kids something wrong with her, or she selfish. Now our natural purpose of us to be here is to reproduce, to keep the population growing. But just like a man has the choice if he ever wants children or not, not be chastised for it . A woman should have that same respect.
3.  Man who speak’s his mind is a leader, But a woman who does the same is bossy. – This is probably one of the double standard I hate the most. Without going into too much details. It should be that if I speak what on my mind about what or how I feel doesn’t mean that my point aren’t validate. They tie this woman are unstable emotional creature who can’t explain anything. When we all know that isn’t the fact.
4. Cheating – This is a simple one and this will go for both perspectives. When a man cheat on a woman its usually unjustified. But when a woman cheats, its always like she get the benefit of the  doubt. Now in no way shape or form should it be okay in any relationship. It hurts both parties and no one ends up the winner on either side. SO JUST DON’T DO IT.

 

Living Healthy .