Side Chick Music

Soo lets talk real quick. It was brought to my attention that SZA is supposedly “side chick music.”  Now if you really listen to SZA you would know what she is all about. But most people refer to her based off of her song “The Weekend” Where she says

“You say you got a girl
How you want me?
How you want me when you got a girl”

“My man is my man is your man
Heard that’s her man
Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
I just keep him satisfied through the weekend”

And yeah on the outside looking in it sound exactly like that. But take it from this stand point. What if you were dealing with a man who is supposedly in love with two or more woman? each woman knows about each other and are okay with what is going on with him. Does that make her a side chick? who is really the main chick? But really is it just her saying shit he is for everybody!?

SZA isn’t this “Hey everybody lets just play these nigga how the play us!” She is about empowerment. Her songs are about the things she has and is going through. I bring this topic up because of her new music video Supermodel. The video begin with her doing what all woman do looking in the mirror pick at ourselves, with her “man” in the back laugh at her. These kids come and make her feel beautiful. As she is walking the road in a forest she is straight WORKING and SLAYING!!!! But while walking she see’s her man laughing at her again.

“I could be your supermodel
If you believe
If you see it in me
See it in me
See it in me

I don’t see myself
Why I can’t stay alone just by myself
Wish I was comfortable just with myself
But I need you”

That is the words of a woman that constantly fight with her self esteem something we all have trouble with. Its the same with the song Drew Barrymore

“I get so lonely, I forget what I’m worth
We get so lonely, we pretend that this works
I’m so ashamed of myself think I need therapy-y-y-y
I’m sorry I’m not more attractive
I’m sorry I’m not more ladylike
I’m sorry I don’t shave my legs at night
I’m sorry I’m not your baby mama
I’m sorry you got karma comin’ to you
Collect and soak in it right”

Here’s something from Broken Clocks

“All I got is these broken clocks
I ain’t got no time
Just burning daylight
Still up still up
Its still love its
Still love still love still loving still love
Nothing but love for you
Nothing but love
Nothing but love”

In the end of all of this SZA is a real one. She sings about being in these crazy stages of our lives in these crazy ass 20’s. Where you would think we would be past self esteem issues, bad relationships, and toxic love. But it life and we gotta keep pushing through. But next time you listen to supposedly “side chick music” listen to the story and not just the chicks who live their lives off of being a side chick. And just saying Shirley Murdock – As We Lay is side chick music lol but its still my jam! Tell me what you think about SZA -CTRL!

peace, love, and positivity

What I love and Why I love it

So I’m going to give you a quick story on why I love to do makeup and how I began this journey with it.

When I was about 15, I would say that was when I first notice that I was interested in makeup. I loved the colors of the eye shadows my mother had, How the black eyeliner would make my eyes pop. (I have light brown eyes.) It just use to be simply things like a little eyeliner here and there. Now of course I wasn’t the greatest at applying it but it was a start.

 

 

 

 

Now my senior prom is when I really got into makeup, I went to MAC to get it done as usually but this time the girl used so many colors and products I was so interested. asking question; What is this for? How do you use this?

 

 

 

Now I go off to college and start experimenting. But still not knowing nothing about contouring and highlighting or the importance of EYEBROWS!! But at least my base was even. lol

 

 

 

I leave college and just kind of do my own thing for awhile got to a relationship and really rarely wore makeup but here are a few pictures. Mind you still a working progress.

And then in 2014 I had my sons, I became a stay at home mom. I didn’t really do too much at home beside take care of my son’s and go to school. So  I watched YouTube makeup tutorials all day. How to contour and highlight, how to correctly do you eyebrow. HIGHLIGHTERS!!!! Eyeliner, Eye shadow blending. I had found my life goal. Once I started practicing, people would compliment me on my makeup all the time. How do I do this or that? Who does my makeup? Will I do their’s? I had truly found what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Now I have never loved doing anything as much as I love doing my makeup and others too. It is my everything. I wonder for years what I wanted to do with my life. I have changed my major so many times from psychology, to early education, to IT, to now finally Business. I want to build myself a brand and create something I can give to my children when they come of age. I learned that within the last year that if you don’t follow your dreams and goals that what are you really doing?

 

Live Healthy ❤

 

 

Why you bother me when you know you don’t want me?

Photo credit : Rolling Stone

So lately I have been listening to a lot of SZA – CTRL, and if you haven’t. YOU SHOULD! It has me thinking, why do men bother you when we both know they don’t want you. A lot of the time my mom will say because they don’t want no one else to have you. They would rather make your life miserable, then to see you happy with someone else. Its a bit selfish. But then that brought me to do woman do it as well? Now I can only speak for myself. The only thing I ever wanted to see from any of my ex’s was that the excelled or advanced. In every relationship you are in, you are supposed to take something from that relationship whether its good or bad its supposed to be something to make you a better person. Most don’t but I try to. My longest relationship I was in, he would always tell me how I lack the ability to be honest. And for awhile of our relationship he was right. But then I decide I wasn’t going to keep the truth to myself, whatever needed to be said would be said. And if you don’t like what I say so be it, at least it has been said. It’s all about growth.

Now this brings me to my next talking point, its strange that all 20’s years go through this stage were we are trying figure why we don’t have a beautiful relationship like others, especially if we have all the tools to be in. My mother sent me a video that explained why most of us are still single or why we haven’t found the “one” John Gray // He Who Finds A Wife // 2016. You can click the link to hear his speech. But basically he saying that “He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” which by the way is one of my favorite bible scriptures. But I guess my favorite thing about the whole video was that you are not a wife when he puts a ring on you. You have become his wife. But you were a wife before he found you. You have carry yourself as a wife, to be treated like a wife. But when you walk in the spirit of a girlfriend you will forever be a girlfriend. You have to act taken to be found. You have to have the characteristic of a wife to be chosen to be someone wife. So it had me thinking am I carrying myself as a girlfriend? It also had me thinking of the many people I know that have been in long term relationship 5+ years and yet they are not married. So does that mean they are only seen as girlfriends. Because most will say they cannot afford a ring or a wedding right now. But the ring does not symbolize your marriage, you two do. And hell you can always get tattoos on  your ring finger. You can always get married in the court house and have a small dinner with your close family. So once again why aren’t you married?

The real reason for it all is that we aren’t supposed to be out looking for love, we are supposed to be out looking for ourselves. Love comes to those who love themselves. Have you ever noticed that when you are focusing on yourself and expanding your life, you start to draw attention to yourself from the opposite or same sex? Now someone in that crowd means well for you but the other’s mean to destroy you. And its hard to filter it out. But with time things do change. But as long as you focus on creating and evolving yourself all the great things will fall into place.

check out my previous blogs 25 and still fucking single… and The Typical Life of a Baby Momma

And please watch out for my first video on YouTube about my life as a Typical Baby Momma. I will be posting my first video next week.

 

Live Healthy ❤

recognize.

 

A lot of times people think that their accomplishments have to go recognize. But they really don’t. I always tell people that the things I do and the reason I work so hard for the things I want in life is because I do it for myself, not for my kids, not for my family, not for my friends. I do what I want or need to give me the sense of accomplishment. I don’t do it so someone can give me a pat on the back. So just because you don’t see me moving doesn’t mean things aren’t in motion.

Co-Parenting

So I get this a lot “How do you work out co-parenting with your kids father?” And I always reply with “as long as the common interest of the child(ren) is the same you should have no problems.”

We as parent have to take out the emotional piece of the relationship and make sure our children are okay. Because what he did to you or she did to isn’t going to put food on the table or clothes on your child’s back. Its about taking care of business first and personal things later. My kids father and myself have conversation all the time about what we want for our kids. You name it! We have more than likely talked about. Because we want the same outcome in 19 years two son’s graduated from college away from the statistics of a young black male. It’s that important to us.

Now by all means I’m not perfect and in the beginning it can be hard to set aside your personal feelings of the relationship, and I’ve done somethings no parent should do to another. And with that I apologize to you. But once I stop putting my feelings first, and focused on the positive side. I have a person who is doing everything in his ability to make sure that his kids are always taken care of, and I am beyond bless of that.

We have to remember that you are on the same side when it comes to raising your children. If one parent says no and has a reason for it than that’s it. Parents underestimate their child. I have seen time and time again a child will play off both parent to get what they want. YOU HAVE TO BE ON THE SAME SIDE AT ALL TIMES!   You have to COMMUNICATE the needs of the child(ren) to each other, everything; doctors appointments, hospital stays, the kids that push your baby down at school and your child got up can kick his butt and now he’s suspended. Everything under the sun, big or small. So there are no secrets.

Children need both parents believe it or not. Yes a lot of us were raised by single parents but a mother is there to show the child passion, kindness, love, and beauty. While the father is there to teach them respect, loyalty, how to be strong minded. Its a two person job. And its long night, no overtime, no holidays off, no sick leave, and you work weekends but its worth it in the end.

So just remind yourself when you and the other parent are arguing, yelling, and cursing. Is it about the need of the baby or some personal stuff?